I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
