Pappa wants mamma naked
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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