Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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