I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
