then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
