so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
