She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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