we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
