seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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