Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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