We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
