Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
