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I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
