After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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