she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
