Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Someone shattered a urinal.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
