Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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