I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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