respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
