There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
