We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
