Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
