ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
