I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
