Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
