you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
