i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
