And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
