that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
