She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
