My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
