i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
