Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
