You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
