You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
