oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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