Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
