Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
