I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
