Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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