butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
