I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
