Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
May the power of my ass compel you!!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
