Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
