I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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