we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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