you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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