I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
