I puked a lego.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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