Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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