She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
