u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
