Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
