I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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