I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We're too hungover to prance.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
