Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I AM VODKA MAN
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
